I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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