that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
