so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize