yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
