Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
