Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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