How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize