so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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