sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
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Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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