im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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