True but thats because hes a fetus.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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