So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
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I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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