I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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