bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
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he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
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apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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