Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The beer is more important than you right now.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
