Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
