do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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