do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
