I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Houston, we have a squirter
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
