After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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