She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
