lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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