You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
