Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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