Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
send nudes
from the living room?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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