Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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