Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
