The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
