For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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