You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
