she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
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I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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