STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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