omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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