Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
17 year olds will be the death of me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
