I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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