Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize