she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
