I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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