She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
