girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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