Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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