The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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