I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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