We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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