This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
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just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
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Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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