Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
