people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
