I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
