eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
