She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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