There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
