The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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