The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
