We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
