Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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