he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
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Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
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I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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