I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize