I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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