i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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