so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
